Understanding Cowboy....?
Home About Me Archives	November 30. 2008 Eternal Love ..... People ask me why or how I can say I am in love with two women from my past that have gone their separate ways. I love like a parent when I am ready to commit to a spouse. Their past means little more to me than a means to understand why and who they are. It is how they treat me that is the make or break of “our time”. I can forgive mistakes without holding it against a person once I understand why. Cheating and lying are the two that I cannot. But someone that does something mean or something that hurts me will never weaken what I feel for them. Truth is people change over time. We all do and most break ups are due to either change, or the fact that the person was not who they represented themselves as in the first place. Change is going to happen. No need for hating the person for what they cannot control. The things that happen to each of us that causes change is beyond our control. I cannot hate or dislike a person for changing. I conversely cannot understand how someone who is in love with someone else can ever not be in love with that person. I may have said some angry things after the fact, but those are emotions, hurts, venting that are gone the minute they leave my mouth. And I am ashamed for most of the times I reacted like a bully or seven year old. The last years have been barren of friends, and of human contact. I dream of being held at night. I dream of someone loving me again. But the fact is that at my age the chances of that occurring again are slim. And with my afflictions the chances lessen even more. To that end I try to stay upbeat and celebrate the love that I did have. And that I hate no one and most of all have never ever hated anyone I have loved. I sometimes have hated their actions or lies, but never the heart of the person. The people I ended up with were never ones I thought were my type. But when I fell I was smitten. That is why I say love for me is a gift from god. One that occurs fast, without warning and without limitation. And I will confess I love being in love. I love giving and always feeling full because I am given back to. If only I could turn it on and off. Loneliness would not be an issue that has replaced the hope of a mate. So I celebrate old dreams and beautiful times, albeit a bit rusty. They were the high points of my life.
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Understanding Cowboy....?

Eternal Love .....

People ask me why or how I can say I am in love with two women from my past that have gone their separate ways.

I love like a parent when I am ready to commit to a spouse. Their past means little more to me than a means to understand why and who they are. It is how they treat me that is the make or break of “our time”. I can forgive mistakes without holding it against a person once I understand why. Cheating and lying are the two that I cannot. But someone that does something mean or something that hurts me will never weaken what I feel for them.

Truth is people change over time. We all do and most break ups are due to either change, or the fact that the person was not who they represented themselves as in the first place. Change is going to happen. No need for hating the person for what they cannot control. The things that happen to each of us that causes change is beyond our control.

I cannot hate or dislike a person for changing.

I conversely cannot understand how someone who is in love with someone else can ever not be in love with that person. I may have said some angry things after the fact, but those are emotions, hurts, venting that are gone the minute they leave my mouth. And I am ashamed for most of the times I reacted like a bully or seven year old.

The last years have been barren of friends, and of human contact. I dream of being held at night. I dream of someone loving me again. But the fact is that at my age the chances of that occurring again are slim. And with my afflictions the chances lessen even more.

To that end I try to stay upbeat and celebrate the love that I did have. And that I hate no one and most of all have never ever hated anyone I have loved. I sometimes have hated their actions or lies, but never the heart of the person.

The people I ended up with were never ones I thought were my type. But when I fell I was smitten. That is why I say love for me is a gift from god. One that occurs fast, without warning and without limitation. And I will confess I love being in love. I love giving and always feeling full because I am given back to.

If only I could turn it on and off.

Loneliness would not be an issue that has replaced the hope of a mate. So I celebrate old dreams and beautiful times, albeit a bit rusty. They were the high points of my life.

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